TLOZ Phantom Hourglass: Twisted
by xxxgabsxxx
Summary: This story might seem like the normal Phantom Hourglass at first but I assure you, It's not. When Link meets an unexpected Zelda fan teleported into the world of TLOZ who assists him in this story, how can she help Link and what comedy twist can she add?
1. Chapter 1: Meet the crew

OK, so this is my first story and I want to know how I'm doing, so add lots of comments please! I don't know much about the site so give me a break! Any way... this might suck in the first 2 chapters but it should pick up in the third. Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes but give me a break I'm in sixth grade. Anyway I'll try to update every Friday so you people can read a new chapter every week. Sorry if you think this commenting stuff sucks but some people like it. So if it's annoying to you, you can just skip it.

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CHAPTER 1:

"There was a pirate named Tetra who braved the open seas and explored areas no one knew even existed. But one day she went to see a special ship that had a big treasure but ev-"

"Oh my god! Niko shut the heck up! Everyone on this ship has heard that dumb story a hundred times already! God!" Tetra, the ships captain screamed at Niko, the pirate who was reading the story he had written about their current journey-to go see the ghost ship that everyone had deemed cursed. "Look! you made Link fall asleep already poor guy! God!" Tetra was tan and had blond hair that she wore up in a high bun. She wore a red bandanna around her neck and a white shirt with a thin blue sleeveless vest over it.

"Sure boss." Niko responded, picking his things up. "Sure boss? That's what I get. Pick this crap up and I never want to see it again, you hear me?" she complained with her voice raised so high the whole ship was staring at them.

Niko was a sickly skinny-looking young man who joined the group of pirates right out of high school. He wore a brownish orange bandanna over his head and a striped shirt the same color of his bandanna and blue jeans. He came from a corrupted family where he would get beaten every day and his parents hated him. He came to join the band of pirates looking for a way out his dangerous neighborhood and for a supportive family and some friends.

"Link! Wake up!" Tetra shouted kneeling down next to Link's ear.

"Aah!" Link, the boy stuck listening to Niko's story screamed. He wore a dark green tunic with a brown belt that had a large gold button in the middle of it. He had a thin light green long-sleeved shirt under his tunic and wore khaki pants and brown boots. His hair was golden blond like Tetra's. He wore a long hat over it that was the same color of his tunic. He was a young boy, only 12 or 13 and recently joined up with the pirates to get some adventure in his life instead of growing up to be a farmer like the last 4 generations of his family. He was quiet, innocent, and tried to stay out of trouble, not rough and strong like the rest of the crew.

The whole deck shook in startlement when Tetra woke link up.

"Boss! You really shouldn't wake people up like that. It scares the heck out of us!" a huge man named Alfonzo stated from up in the look-out. Alfonzo wore a maroon v-neck sweater and torn khaki pants and his hair was dark brown and had a tan complexion. The bandanna Alfonzo wore upon his head was the same color of his shirt and had a white decoration in the middle of it. He was the toughest of all the pirates and was great at fighting and Tetra knew she could count on him being second in command. He had become a pirate just to do it and thinks it was the best decision he'd ever made in his life. He thought that there was no better way of living than being a pirate.

"You know what I say! No alarm clock like the Tetra clock! If you could sell me, you'd make millions!" Tetra responded. She was feisty and could take care of herself. Everyone thought that Tetra desired to find the ghost ship because of the large treasure thought to be on it, but she really wanted to prove to the world that she was not cowardly. She decided to start a band of pirates with Alfonzo because of her family. Tetra's rich parents gave her food and water and an allowance but never really cared about her to any extent. She was really close to her older sister who took care of her when she was younger but died in a horse riding accident a year before Tetra ran off to recruit Alfonzo and become a pirate. But no one knew that because Tetra never talked about her past. She was tough and strict most of the time, but cared deeply for her crew and tried to act as her older sister did. She was well respected and about Link's age making her very mature to run a ship of pirates at that age.

"Hey, Tetra, uh-" Link stammered.

"WHAT LINK? Just spit it out already!" Tetra shouted in Link's face.

"Uh, nothing, never mind." Link replied, terrified. He wasn't used to being yelled at all the time yet.

Tetra's expression changed and she sat down "Link, I want to know what you have to say." she said softly, exposing her nice, understanding side.

Link took a seat next to Tetra. "Well, I was just thinking that maybe this ghost ship thing isn't such a good idea..."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY!" Tetra shouted as they both stood up, back in link's face. "You are such a weakling! I don't understand why you decided to join us!"

"I'm s-" link got cut off.

"If you are too weak to go look for a stupid ghost ship I don't think I want you on my crew! If you don't think you can handle it, I'll drop you off at Malida Island It's right next to us! It'll only take a few minutes to go there and come back!"

"I'm sorry!" Link said raising his voice a little.

"DON'T APOLOGIZE! I don't a weak apology from you! I want to know if you can handle searching for the Ghost ship! CAN YOU HANDLE IT?" Tetra finished her lecture.

"Yes." Link said, back to his normal, quiet voice level.

"GOOD!" Tetra stormed off to her captains wheel. When Link looked around he saw everyone staring at him. His cheeks started to glow red and after a moment of embarrassment, he rushed down to the cabin.

Link plopped on his small, uncomfortable lower bunk bed and took out some paper and started writing.

Dear parents,

I miss you all so much and think I'm going to come home soon. Say hi to Little sis Arill for me.

-LINK

Link put the paper in an envelope and addressed it to his farm. He put it in his pockets and went back upstairs to where Tetra and the rest of the crew were.

"SHIP!" Alfonzo screamed from the look-out.

Tetra came running and climbed up the ladder to see the ship. Alfonzo handed Tetra the telescope and she had a concentrated look on her face as she searched for the ship.

"I SEE IT!" Tetra shouted in excitement.

The ship was dark brown and spooky-looking. It looked very old and it's sail was raised up so it was hardly moving.

"I think we have ourselves a ghost ship here, crew!" Tetra said as she turned around with a huge smile spread across her face.

Excitement and cheers clamored through the ship. Even Link felt happy. Not because the Ghost ship has been spotted, but because Tetra was so happy. He had never seen her like this and thought that she looked like enjoyable company.

Tetra hurried to the wheel and turned the ship tword the ghost ship. As soon as their pirate ship was turned, the air grew cold and foggy.

Pains and unsettlement grew in Link's stomach and he started to feel queezy.

Niko coughed and tried to wave away the fog in front of him.

"Tetra, this fog is so thick I can't see a thing!" Alfonzo shouted down.

"It's fine. I know where to go." Tetra replied in a mysterious voice with a large, mischievous grin on her face.

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Hi, yes it's me again. Sorry if you don't like it but remember the first two chapters are going to be slow, non-humorous and all-together crappy. But, it's necessary you read them for the story or else you'll be like what the heck and won't know what's happening because I'm making the story a little different then the game.


	2. Chapter 2: The ghost ship

So sorry it took so long to put this chapter up. I got writer's block and then got grounded from the computer for a week. Writing was going slow but this won't happen again.

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Chapter 2:

Tetra kept guiding the ship through the fog without problem.

All of the crew on deck started to feel a little causios-all exept for Tetra.

As the pirate ship sailed on into the fog, thoughts about it were going through the curiouse captain's mind thoughts about the treasure, thoughts about the danger, thoughts about what the ship would be like, and thoughts about her crew. The thought of turning back crossed Tetra's mind. She didn't want anyhting happening to Link. Especially since he was a newbie.

"THERE IT IS!" Tetra souted with excitement. The captain pulled her boat up next to the old, scary-looking ghost ship.

Everyone was silent. The whole crew could hear their hearts beat.

Tetra thought _this is it, I can turn around now or take my chances._

Tetra shook the nervousness and walked to the side of the boat that was close to the ghost ship. She hopped over the edge and walked around on the ghost ship. Nothing to be afraid of, just a regular ship with lots of treasure.

Screams came from the ghost ship and without thinking, Link ran on board to save his friend.

"NO!" Tetra shrieked and pushed Link overboard. Tetra started fading and soon she was clear.

"Save me!" echoed a voice.

Link swore he heard Tetra beg him to save her.

"Where's Link?" Alfonzo asked.

"I don't know, but let's save ourselves and get out of here!" Niko suggested, shaking with fear.

Alfonzo turned the boat around and sailed off far away, never to come back again.

"WAIT!" Link called. "I'm still alive!" He felt dizzy. "Whoa..."

One minute the Link was fine and the next he saw nothing but black.

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OOH! is Link dead? did he drown? Bwa! Ha! Ha! My evil secret plans shall not be revealed until the next chapter comes on line!

(OK... That was random, stupid, and cheesy...)


	3. Chapter 3: The twist

Ok, so today I was actually on scedual, which is very surprising. Anyway... this is the chapter that makes the discription not sound like a lie, because it's when the "twist" happens.

I have Magic (BOB/Rivers Cuomo) stuck in my head-love that song best ever besides take it off (Ke$ha)! (- so random)

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Chapter 3:

Link opened his eyes and saw a girl with brown hair in a messy unfasionable pony tail staring down at him.

"Hey, how are you doing?" the girl asked.

"Uh... I just almost drowned, how do you think I'm doing?" Link replied.

"Pretty crappy."

"Yeah!"

"Yeah, you pretty much just washed up on shore and I did some CPR."

"You know CPR?"

"Doctor in training!"

"Oh..."

"At least I didn't have to do mouth-to-mouth!"

They both chuckled a little.

Link sat up and looked around. He was on a beautiful golden beach with perfect green palm trees. He looked behind him and there was a farm. To the left of him, on the opposite side of the christal clear aqua-colored water, there was a house up on a small hill. That was the one the girl was talking about.

The girl was pretty and had bright red colored lips and beatuful brown eyes. Her hair was medium length, dark brown and hadn't been combed in a while. Her figure was nice and her skin was tan. She was wearing a black T-shirt and black jeggings.

"So, what's your name?" Link asked the girl who saved him.

"You can call me Kay. I know your name already." she replied.

_That's odd.. _Link thought to himself.

"Is he awake yet?" a fairy that was icy blue flew over.

"Link meet Ciela, Ciela meet Link."

Kay introduced.

"Hi..." Link sort-of asked.

"How are you doing? Must be pretty bad after how we found you!" the fairy answered herself.

"Come on Ciela, let's go ask Oceus about that sword," Kay stated. Kay stood up and walked over the house she was talking about started flying to catch up with her.

"You coming?" Ciela turned around and asked Link.

Link ran to catch up to them.

Kay knocked on the door and an old man with big bushy eyebrows, long hair for a man, and a long beard opened the door. His face was so burried in white hair, they couldn't see his eyes, nose, or mouth.

"Hey, Oceaus!" Kay greeted.

"Well! If it isn't my granddaughter and her best friend, Kay! A new face? Come inside and tell me about yourself..." the old man paused.

"Link!" link added.

"Have a seat, you can call me Oceaus." the old man held a staff in his hand that was read and had a seashell at the top for a decoration. He wore an aqua-blue (like the color of the ocean) robe.

"This is link, Kay found him and saved his life! He washed up on shore and she used CPR to get his heart pumping, Granddad!" the fairy explained, excitedly.

"Well, that's quite a story!" exclaimed the old man.

"It's true!" Ciela added. "I belive you. Kay, you have great potential. Not only are you atheletic, but your smart and beautiful aswell. I can see a bright future for you." Oceas bragged.

Kay smiled and blushed a little. "I need to know if we can borrow your sword. See, Link has a friend he needs to find and no matter how much anyone tries to talk him out of it, it won't make a diffrence. I want to help him bad, so we'll need two.

_How did Kay know about what happened to me?_ Link wonderd.

"I'm going to help too, Granddad!" Ciela went and hovered over Kay's head. Kay looked up.

_Please let him let us use his sword I dont want to steal things from him..._ Kay hoped, even though she knew he'd say no.

"I'm sorry, but swords are very dangerouse, I don't want you two getting hurt."

"All right. Come on guys, let's go." Kay stood up and walked outside, the other two following.

"So what do we do now?" Link asked.

"We're gonna need to take it." Kay said with confidence.

"What? Steel a sword! I can't do that! And back there, how did you know what had happeded to me?" Link asked curiously and creeped out.

"I know everything that has happened from the time Tetra got kidnapped to what will happen in the far future. Let's just say I'm psycic... for now, anyway." The girl had a wierd mysteriouse and nervouse look on her face both at once.

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So anyway... sorry if the "Twist" kind of makes it suck, but if you think it does then just stop reading because, well, without the twist it would just be the normal story which wouldn't be awesome and would kind of be a copy of this other story...

anyway... sorry for using "anyway" about times in the comments for this chapter (I don't even know what that number is, I just typed random numbers)


	4. Chapter 4: Their first adventure

Ok, sorry for sorry for that long wait. I was occupied with stuff, my dad moved out and uh... other stuff.

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CHAPTER 4:

The three went over to the cave behind Oceas's house.

"Well, this is a... dark cave." Link stated, taking a look around. Infront of him was a red door. By the door was a sign. "I suppose the sword is in here," Link tried to push open the door, but it was impossible to open. "Now what, genius. This was a waste of time. All that's here is a door you can't open and a sign next to it that says 'remember to lock door'. Well, he remembered all right! And we can't climb it cause there's nothing to hold onto! What's next on the agenda ms. 'I know the future and stuff'. Real nice Idea, you-"

Kay let him complain for a bit and then walked over to the sign. The note was nailed onto the large wood piece of the sign on the top. With a quick, easy yank, the paper came right off to reveal a sign saying "how many palm trees are on the beach?" Kay walked over to the door and with her finger wrote a large number seven and the door slowly went down revealing a storage room with a clean, shiny sword in it.

Link stopped babling to himself and said "Oh..." with not a lot of expresson looking kind of sorry for ragging on Kay, kind of dissapointed because he was wrong, and kind of stupid feeling.

They all went into the room and Kay picked up the sword. "Here is your sword link, handle it with care..." Kay said purposfully speaking mysteriously as she held the sword on her flat palms and bowing linke the samurais do.

Link took the sword and admired it. "This seems wrong..." Link said.

"Geez, don't be such a wuss!" Kay grumbled, turning around.

"I am NOT a wuss!" Link argued.

"Ciela, is he a wuss?"

"Very much so..." Ciela supported.

Link glared at Ciela. "I don't get why I need a sword so bad right now." Link questioned.

"Because the bridge is out and the way we're going, theres gonna be lots of monsters." Kay replied. "Now, my sword is in town which means we have to get it. Since you don't know how to use a sword all that well, I can use yours. And when we go to town and pick mine up, I'll give you yours back." she added

"But... which way are we going?" Link asked.

"Through the cave." Ceila replied fast and extited. "Grampa never lets me go through the cave."

They walked between these two short cliffs to find many trees that could be easily cut down and a lot of bright red things that neared them very slowly. The red things had three legs that were really just short stubbs about three inches long and their legs all turned into one short leg than was about five inches long attatched to there giant curculare head which was about a foot high and ten inches across. They looked like they were made of goo and could stretch easily. Their eyes were so huge that they could barely fit on their head.

"Those red monster things are called chucus." Kay explained. Link handed Kay the sword, shaking out of his skin, but as soon as Kay got at those chuchus, he felt so much better knowing he was with an expierienced swordsman.

"Come on, people, we don't have all day... Holy cow! I didn't get a sweet sixteen because I was stuck here waiting for you guys to make it over here!" Kay complained.

"Geez, we're here." Link said, in a stop-complaining-already voice.

"Yeah, have you ever heard of running?" Kay asked.

They all went into the cave. Kay went ahead, chopping up any animal in sight and called back to Link when she was done.

"So... you live with your... grandpa..." Link said in an asking-type way.

"Yeah!" Ciela stated.

"Wouldn't he be a... fairy...?" He asked.

"Well, he isn't my real grandpa. He just found me when I washed up on shore one day and took me in. I had lost my memory, so I don't know anything that had happened before the day I was washed up on shore, though."

"Oh." Link understood. "Now that makes a lot more sense."

"All right, I'm done. The scaredy cat can come on now."

Link ran over to Kay, "Am NOT a scaredy cat!"

"Are too!" Kay argued.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NUH UH!"

"UH HUH!"

"NOPE!"

"YEP!" Ciela and Kay said at the same time.

"Thanks a lot Ciela." Link said sarcastcally "You always take Kay's side."

"Uh, that's because Kay's always right." Ciela explained.

When they left the cave, they found themselves in the city on a higher piece of land than the rest of the area with a short flight of stairs going down to get to the city's elevation.

"May I present to you... the city." Kay said. She acted like a buttler and bowed when she said "the city".

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So... sorry again for the long wait. I'll try to post faster.


	5. Chapter 5: Getting the sword

O.K. So it took me a long time to write this cause, well, I kinda forgot. but lots of stuff was happening and I took a LONG break. anyway, I never fail. well... actually there's that health test... but that doesn't count. Anyway, sorry

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"Whoa!" Link exclaimed. "This place is wonderful!"

"I know!" Kay giggled.

The three walked down the steps and into the town.

They could hear many conversations around them and there was barely any room to walk because the streets were so overflowed that the people were like a sea.

Someone old and smiling with white hair walked up to the trio and offered to sell some strange-looking food to them.

"No, thanks, old lady dude," Kay said slowly and confused-sounding. "We no eat wierd stuff like whatever the heck that is."

"How did you say no? I'm so bad at that, after even the slightest bit of pressure I will crack like an egg," Link shared.

"That's... nice," Kay replied in a sort-of asking tone.

"Come on! Let's get to the sword shop! I've been hit seven times since we've been here!" Ciela complained.

A man walked by and Ciela got hit by his arm "Eight!"

"Oh! Stop your whining and complaining, we're here already!" Kay said.

They were in front of a small brick building with a sign in the front of it reading "Nelson's Sword Shop" in big red letters. As the three entered the building they saw a fat man behind the counter with glasses and brown hair.

"Hey Frank!" Kay greeted the man behind the counter.

"Hey Kay! Your sword has arrived," Frank informed.

"Where is it?" Kay asked.

"MIKE!" Frank screamed.

A boy their age with dark hair and brown eyes wearing a black T-shirt and black shorts with black boots and lots of freckles stepped into the room. He was holding a perfectly shined sword that had a black handle and a red jewel in the handle.

"Here's your sword, Kay," Mike said, as he held the sword out to Kay.

"Thanks!" Kay took the sword, she couldn't help but stare at Mike. She had rush out of the store before he noticed her staring. Kay wouldn't accept it, but she secretly like Mike.

Mike stared at Kay as she left, he had a crush on her, too.

"What up with the awkward silence?" Link commented.

"What awkward silence? I didn't hear an awkward silence. Nope! No awkward silence there!" Kay said fast.

"You don't hear awkward silence! There's nothing _to_ hear in awkward silence! Seriously, though what was that about!" Link was curious.

"Noting! It's late. Time to find a place to crash for the night." Kay changed the conversation.

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Sorry again for the lateness. I'll not to wait 2 months again. But, as I said, I was REALLY busy. Really busy. Anyways... thanks for liking my story and stuffness. It's awesome.


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